The reality is... restriction affects your life both on + off the plate.

Honestly, I feared and restricted many, MANY, foods for a long time, things like sauces, avocado, beef, rice, potatoes, sugar, bread, nuts, coffee, pastries, smoothies, oils, soup, milk to name a few. 

This fear and restrictive behaviour became so deep rooted within me that it affected many areas of my health. My body was constantly in a state of stress, and my food noise was through the roof. My body fat was extremely low; I was constantly cold because I was not eating any fats. For my body to protect itself from the cold the hairs on my arms and face were growing longer. I lost my periods for several years because my body didn’t feel it was at safety, nor in a state for pregnancy. This led to low, basically no libido, no desire for intimacy because my body was literally fighting for its life and not in the space to carry another life. My cognitive function was poor to say the least, I could not think clearly, my attention span was non-existent and for this reason, spending time alone, was the safest, easiest option. It affected my mental health, I became overwhelmed with anxiety, this affected my social life, I couldn’t go out for dinner unless I hadn’t eaten all day, and all hell would break loose in my mind if I could not see a menu prior to going out. I missed out on moments with family, loved ones, friends, I was lonely,  I lost my Lottie spark and restriction, this wild urge to control dominated my life.

I was rapidly becoming a fraction of myself, physically and mentally but, I couldn’t see it. I was so focused on controlling my intake, that I stopped living, I stopped being Lottie. It is hard to realise and accept this when you are going through the motions of this disorder, but, there is hope, there is healing and my healing came when I introduced balance into my life, I no longer restricted, and when I surrendered to this change, my fears started to slowly fade, the food noise began to fade, my body began to return home to itself and I began to feel more Lottie. I was so worried that these foods would cause me to gain weight, like the weight would pile on and the maker on the scales would forever creep up. Little did I realise in the moment that the scales wouldn’t constantly keep creeping up, I wouldn’t constantly be cold, my periods wouldn’t be gone forever, I would be able to enjoy food and have a social life, I would be able to focus, and the food noise would disappear. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that restricting foods and fearing foods can totally consume your mind, body and soul, and if you aren’t careful, it will stop you from living, but you may only realise this, when you are out of the restriction. Try not to restrict, but to crowd out things that aren’t serving you, and do this by adding in more foods that nourish you, bring you joy and help you to thrive!

Realities of restrictive eating:

The binge, restrict cycle.

Did you know, restriction is the biggest driver of bingeing? When you constantly deprive your body of energy, your brain naturally switches into ‘survival mode’ increasing your cravings, especially in the evening and decreasing your will power. This isn’t a character flaw, this is simply biology...

Metabolic adaption.

Do you realise that if you are constantly under fuelling; your body will slow down its expenditure to ‘save’ what it has. This can often lead to digestive issues, fatigue, brain fog and feeling cold.

The ‘rule’ fatigue.

Maintaining a strict set of food rules requires immense, intense, cognitive load. This is consuming, and truly is a mental drain, it can lead to social isolation and heightened anxiety because ‘safe’ options aren’t always available. 

Here are my go-to tips I tell my clients when they are on the journey of breaking free from restriction.

The rule audit.

Identify the rules you have created, for example, no carbs after 2pm, or only 1,200 calories in a day, or you can only eat 1 meal if you don’t work out.

The tool : write down the rules, next to each one right down if it is based on science, or fear disguised act fact?

The action : pick one rule per week to intentionally break, challenge yourself, write down how you felt upon breaking it, and if there were any consequences.

Change your social environment.

Social media needs some serious filtering, often it can be a spring board for triggers and a fountain of opinions disguised as facts.

The tool : curate your social media, unfollow accounts that promote content that can have a negative impact, for example ‘what I eat in a day’ or creators that promote avoiding certain foods groups. Instead of comparing your meals to others, notice what ingredients make you feel good. 

The action : Instead of labelling foods ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘guilty’ describe its sensory details, for example ‘this sweet potato is vibrant, warming and salty.’ Focus on the flavour and feeling over the fear.

The 10-minute check in

When the urge to restrict and compensate hits, e.g. skipping a meal, over-exercising.

The tool : set a 10-minute timer, use that time to do something that grounds you, journalling, a breathing sequence, tapping. 

The action : Allow yourself to be, to notice how your body feels, where you feel the stress, the emotion, the pain, and give yourself grace, often the peak of the panic subsides after a few moments.

All photography by Camila Urreaa

Keep in mind that this process is most definitely not linear, having a ‘bad day’ doesn’t mean you have failed; it just means you are human. Your body is your master piece, it is not your enemy, when you’ve spent a long time restricting it can feel like your body is ‘failing’ you because of how it reacts to food. Yet in reality, if you feel extreme hunger or craving after a period of restriction, your body is nudging you to take care, and encouraging you to nourish yourself, show yourself the love and compassion your body deserves, not just today but everyday. 

And if you are struggling today, know, that things do get brighter.

Big hug,

Lottie x